Sorting out the Campos and US F1 mess

Sometimes I think I’m just too nice for people. Max goes on his big budget cutting drive and wants new teams in, and I help out with a bit of co-investment and sorting out bits and bobs. So we end up with four new teams, which is good. Apart from a bit of a kerfuffle with Stefan GP who had the nerve to hire the traitor Coughlan and then sue Max for not admitting them (I told Stefan not to, but would he listen? No he wouldn’t), everything went smoothly and we had a perfect grid for 2010.

Except of course for the fact that the idjuts at Campos F1 never got their act together, not to mention the US F1 bunglers who never even had an act. Meanwhile there’s still Stefan, rearing at the leash, buying up everything Toyota left behind, setting up camp in Bahrain, and being a general nuisance to just about everybody in F1, thinking that would bully FIA putting them on the grid.

And where does everybody look for someone to clean up the barney?

Good old Bernie. So Bernie goes about doing his good deeds. I talk my old friend Gian Paolo Dallara into giving the Campos team just a bit more slack, nudge the old codger Carabante, who owns half of a Spanish province anyway, to put in a bit more money and kick out that incompetent whiner Adrian Campos if he needs to, bring in Colin Kolles to inject a bit of much-needed experience and Bob’s your uncle.

But no good deed goes unpunished, as the prophet said. Campos is pissed off, claiming I pulled the rug from under his feet, Peter Windsor’s putting in angry phone calls because the newly invigorated Campos are trying to steal the only things he’d managed to line up so far (Lopez and YouTube) and blaming me, and Stefan’s livid because he thought by now he would have his place on the grid. To add insult to injury, Bridgestone just refused to send him some tyres to test his cars on because they’ll only supply teams with an entry for the Championship.

Campos and Windsor I don’t mind so much. They’re losers anyway, who cares? But Stefan’s a bloke you don’t want to have on your wrong side. So I guess old Bernie needs to man the phones again and make sure the Serbs get their bloody tyres. Meanwhile, remind me to ask Goran to increase security for the time being.

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