Grand Prix nightmare

With a few days to go before the circus descends on Bahrain, the dice have rolled and the musical chairs are over. US F1 are out (were they ever in?), Campos is now Hispania, and Serbia Racing Stefan GP will have to hold their horses.

Going down the list, it does strike me that there’s a trend going on here, replacing brand names with country names. Out with Spyker, Honda, BMW and Toyota, in with Force India and Hispania. What’s next, a Korean team? Or worse, so-called national champions like Tata, Lada and Kia? Tony Fernandes tells me we were that close to having Proton Malaysia on the grid. And now there’s Putin trying to rebrand Renault as Lada, the pride of automotive Russia, with his countryman Petrov behind the wheel.

And suddenly the nightmare scenario strikes me. Before my mind’s eye I see a low budget Grand Prix a couple of years from now. Ladas, Protons, Geelys and Kias are racing each other, chased by Red Bulls and Coca-Colas. Ferrari and McLaren are the only ones left with a racing pedigree, making up the fag end of the field.

Then I wake up, drenched in sweat. I really should stop ordering those Yorkshire puddings in the local pub.


3 responses to “Grand Prix nightmare

  1. Fake Bernie

    Why are you so focused on the back of the pack. My man Schumi is going to leave all those minions in an appropriate amount of dust just like a Mercedes powered Panzer in the battle of my stomach bulge. Wake up man!

    BTW – I need a new yacht, lend my $20m will you?

    • Dear Mr Prawn,
      So far your man Schumi has been rather timid about who’s going to leave who in the dust. And so’s your man (and his boss’s boss) Haug, for that matter. Which is not surprising, since you’re calling their car a Mercedes powered Panzer.

      As to your marine aspirations, why spend a meagre $20m? Buys you a glorified dinghy if you’re lucky. I suggest you save up, try to win a couple of races and then spend some real money.

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