Daily Archives: April 14, 2010

Turns out US F1 wasn’t completely virtual

The only two physical things they owned were a couple of fully equipped eighteen wheelers. Coming to think of it, I should’ve known because I now remember Ross Brawn bragging about getting rid of these things when Mercedes bought his team and typically insisted on using their own equipment.

“At first I thought ‘Bloody Krauts’, this is going to cost me a bundle,” Ross said, “until I ran into Peter Windsor. Silly bugger had just gotten his first investment money and thought boatloads more were on the way. I told him, you’ll have to buy now or else they’ll be gone. As if. These things are harder to get rid of than a wank stain on the wall. ‘Oh right,’ he said, ‘I’ll have ’em then.’ Thought he made the deal of the century. Thank God for newbies!”

So now they’ve ended up on eBay. Sold off by hungry creditors. Apparently poor old Peter never even got around to repainting them. One of them’s got Jenson’s number still on it.

Cruel are the ways of the world. Especially the racing world.

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Sometimes problems solve themselves

In the end I didn’t have to do anything. Jean called, said ‘Bernie, run that Briatore thing by me again, please.’

I said why, we discussed it not so long ago and I remember twelve gauge shotguns came up in conversation. Are you getting bored?

Jean Todt's softer side, with a bit of red in the background

He says no, but I’ve been thinking. Flavio’s suing, Symonds’s suing, we’re suing and revising our procedures to get their bans reinforced, this whole sorry mess will stay on the cards and who knows? Maybe one day the shit will fly as far as Alonso again. That’s not in the interest of Ferrari FIA.

I said, no it isn’t and by the way, did I hear you say Ferrari? He says, no I corrected myself, FIA, Ferrari, all sounds the same. You probably misheard.

I said I probably did. And you’re right, in the end it’s all the same anyway because what would F1 be without some red at the front of the field?

So here’s what you do: Continue reading

Just got back from Korea

Or rather, got back a few days ago. Accompanied by a rather nasty bug, too. Put me out of action for a full three days. I’ll spare you the details.

“Yung-Cho,” I said in very clear terms, “I’m a fish and chips man myself. Any day, with a good dose of vinegar to keep your bowels clean, is my motto.” But being a hard headed Korean, he didn’t take the hint.

“Bernie,” he kept saying, “There’s no way you can visit Korea without having some kimchi. We live and die by it. Try it, please. It’s the most healthy food there is.” And I in my stupidity had to give in. Healthy food my arse. No pun intended. What was I thinking?

Oh and the circuit? Not to worry. It’ll all be ready on time. And ‘headed in the right direction’, whatever that means. At least, that’s the boilerplate I agreed to in my hurry to get on the plane, back to English cuisine and civilisation.

But let’s say I didn’t rush off to kimchi-land for nought. We’ll see.