Uncle Bernie, he says, I’m here at Silverstone with Aunt Susan and we’re having a great time but she’s getting worried about all these plans surfacing about a second US Grand Prix.
Aunt Susan? I ask. Who’s she? Do I know her? “Don’t you remember?” he says. “She’s the Comptroller for the State of Texas, she’s the nice lady who promised to pay those $25m in penalty clauses if we don’t have a race in 2012.”
Ah, that Aunt Susan. And why would she be worried? Another GP wouldn’t slow down your plans in Austin, would it? He says no it wouldn’t, but she’s an elected official and it wouldn’t make her look good for the voters if we would be, say, a year late and you’d pocket $25m and still get your US Grand Prix elsewhere.
So I tell him, listen, Tavo, the reason you got that contract in the first place is you’re a good lad and you’re going to make sure that Austin circuit gets finished on time. And by the way, since you’re already in business and nobody else has even started yet, your chances of having a Grand Prix up and running in 2012 are better than anyone else’s. So just do your job and neither you or auntie whatshername have anything to worry about.
Wimp. Whatever happened to that famous American pioneer spirit?
(Thanks reader David, for sending me the picture.)