Daily Archives: August 4, 2010

German spies are among us

What’s the world coming to? BP can’t keep its oil in their wells, the American army spills documents on a biblical scale, and now even F1 isn’t safe any more. Bloody Germans got their greasy paws on next year’s classified Grand Prix list. No harm done as there aren’t any sensitive negotiation situations on the 2011 roster, but these things simply shouldn’t happen.

Imagine this would’ve happened with the race lineup for 2012 or ’13. Tavo and his friends would find out who else in the US we’re taking to. The Mayor of Sao Paulo would find out we’ve still got nothing in South Africa and continue letting Interlagos go to seed. The Europeans would find out who’ll get the boot when Moscow, Rome and the second US race come online.

And I’m not even mentioning the team bosses. Lazy buggers have only one goal in life, and that’s keeping the number of races as low as possible. God forbid they’d have to leave the office more than 20 times a year! ‘Bernie, the fans would get tired.’

The fans? For chrissakes, the fans’ll grab any chance they get to sink in front of the bleeding telly to curse Schumacher, idolise Hamilton or listen to Eddie Jordan’s drivel. A couple are lucky enough to buy a ticket to one or two races. Anything to escape from their boring lives and enter the glamorous, high-tech world of F1. Give them 25 races, we’ll sell them all!

But I digress. Memo to self: instruct Goran, my Head of Security, to put his lads on guard around the clock. Nobody gets in or out until the lineup has been finalised.

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To Schumi’s defence

When you’re as old as I am, you recognise a lynch mob when you see one. And I’m seeing one right before my eyes.

It’s been half a week now since Bully-gate and the crowd only seems to gather. Look, an injustice being done! And there’s a villain too! A celebrity no less! A seven-time World Champion!

Look, my friends, I’m not trying to play down what Michael tried to do to Rubens last Sunday. Indeed, I made a bit of fun of him myself because of it. But let’s not exaggerate things. Yes, he was out of line and he’s been punished for it with ten grid places which means, given the dreadful Mercedes he’s driving, that next race he’ll probably start from the back. End of story.

For those who nevertheless keep on trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill I have one word: Ayrton Senna. OK, two words, but you get my drift.

Ayrton is seen by many (including me) as the Greatest Driver That Ever Was and an enormous number of people still worship the ground that he has walked on, God bless his soul. A lot of those people conveniently forget Continue reading