I’m sorry, Jenson. I really am.

Jenson Button shaken, but not stirred

Really, sometimes I can’t help myself. And it often happens when some journo asks me a stupid question. (I know, I know, that sounds redundant, doesn’t it?)

So here’s this Reuters bloke who wants to know what I think of Jenson Button being mugged outside Interlagos. What do I think? I mean, the story’s simple, isn’t it?

Jenson’s being driven around with his entourage in armoured Merc. Merc gets stuck in traffic. Armed hoodlums pour out of nearby apartment block. Driver of said Merc has had some training in evasive driving. Driver spots hoodlums and has time of his life. Finally some real life evasive driving! Driver evasive drives Jenson and entourage to hotel. Rams several cars in the process. After all, it was only one afternoon of evasive driving school. Hoodlums decide this is too difficult and don’t pursue. Owners of damaged cars do pursue. Of course they do. They need Jenson’s details for the insurance claims. The end.

All in all this is about as exciting as watching the Bahrain Grand Prix. But the Reuters hack sees world headlines. Maybe even a promotion to Investigative Journalist, instead of a pointless existence as a Reuters news article stapler. So he wants the Supremo’s Point of View on this Significant Event.

I always get a bit mischievous on moments like that. That’s when I make up these jokes, about women dressing up like household appliances and drivers who don’t make Q3 deserving to get mugged.

Jenson, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was provoked by utter journalistic stupidity. It won’t happen again.

Until the next moronic journo asks me a stupid question, of course.

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4 responses to “I’m sorry, Jenson. I really am.

  1. Pingback: Button seen leaving Interlagos circuit | Fake Bernie Ecclestone

  2. Pingback: I found the perfect solution for Lewis | Fake Bernie Ecclestone

  3. Pingback: Button gone missing | Fake Bernie Ecclestone

  4. Pingback: Don’t worry, I’m alive and kicking | Fake Bernie Ecclestone

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