Flavio Briatore called. Now here’s a true friend

“Bernie,” he bawls into the phone. Flav has never made the transition to modern technology and still thinks that being on a mobile connection is a reason to shout. “Are you all right?”

Fine, I say, just a black eye and a dent in my self esteem. Seen worse.

“And how’s the lovely Fabiana?” Well, a bit worse for wear. It was quite traumatic for her, what with her earrings being ripped off her ears and all.

“Yes, I heard that! As I said to my bella Elisabeta when I heard the news, it’s a terrible thing to have happen when you’re with your girlfriend. Almost as bad as bumping into your wife!”

I see. What did she say?

“Nothing! She just whacked me over the head and ran off to the nearest jeweller to buy a diamond necklace. It’s how most of our conversations end.”

I can see that, Flavio. May you have a long and happy marriage and never run out of money to buy diamond necklaces.

“Why Bernie, that’s the nicest thing someone’s said to me in all my life! Mamma mia! I truly, sincerely hope that you and la bella Fabiana get over this verry soon. If you need one my villas, just say the word. Any time you like, as long as you like!”

Never say a wrong word about Flavio. He’s a true friend.

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One response to “Flavio Briatore called. Now here’s a true friend

  1. Pingback: All right, here it is, once and for all | Fake Bernie Ecclestone

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