Tag Archives: Birthday

80

I hate birthdays. They are non-negotiable and I have a natural dislike for anything that cannot be negotiated.

Worst are the ones where you cross over into another decade. If you’re 69, people just say they think you’re old. Then you become 70, and they start saying you’re ancient. You start meeting people who seem mildly surprised that you’re still alive, or at least wonder how you’re still managing to get out of the house without crutches. By the time you become 71 they’re getting used to it and you’re just back to being old again. Things calm down, all the way to 79. Then you turn 80 and the whole idiocy starts all over again.

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My Birthday present

Some of the lads in Korea came up with a Birthday present they thought fitting for an eighty year old Supremo. A walking frame. Haha. Very funny.

And here’s the steering wheel for the thing. We know all about reinventing those, of course. Anybody see what’s missing? It lacks the most important switch of all: Negotiation Settings. Should have positions, for Wait it out; Hang them out to dry; Squeeze; Extort; and Close the deal.

Just a small hint for my 81st Birthday, laddies. Not sure about you, but I’ll still be there.