Tag Archives: Danica Patrick

Mark Webber Milking continues

… in fact, it’s getting worse. Apparently someone at Canberra Milk, or worse, their ad agency, has figured out Mark couldn’t hit a note if it was sitting on the apex of an F1 circuit’s corner. So their advertising serfs came up with this version.

Let me tell you, Canberra Milk Morons: Mark’s ‘singing’ was the only entertaining thing in the whole bleedin’ commercial. So get it into your Ozzie dairy farmers’ heads: this ain’t funny. Not even close.

Mark, I know there’s probably a contract sitting out there that you signed when you weren’t the prime Championship contender you are today. But if there’s even a shadow of an escape clause in there, grab it. Get the lawyers on it. The last thing you want is to become the World Champion Canberra Milk Boy.

Memo to all the other lads: stay away from dairy and other loser stuff. Leave that to Danica Patrick and all the other household appliances. You’re supposed to be real men, the lot of you. Stick to promoting manly goods like spark plugs.

[Thanks, dear reader Lyn, for sending me the commercial.]

Yes, I did mention Danica Patrick

One little remark, and everyone and his mate starts twittering like a flock of birds. “Ooh, Bernie dropped Danica’s name again.” “Blimey, did he say anything about household appliances or being dressed in white?” “No, he said she’d be an advert for F1.” “Does that mean he now thinks women can drive?”

No, I didn’t say anything of the kind. Let me run this by you one more time.

  1. Women still have a lot to prove when it comes to driving. Especially on race tracks.
  2. Until I saw one of them (this happened to be Danica) winning an Indycar race I thought they did not belong behind a wheel but should be dressed in white, like all the other household appliances.
  3. Still, these were Indycars. This is nothing compared to the huge effort you need to succeed in Formula One. So that bit’s not been proven yet.
  4. But still, she did win that Indy Japan 300. So Danica is ideally positioned to finally prove that women can succeed in F1 as well.

Not to mention it would draw flocks of American fans, of course. And you have to admit, she does look great in white.