Rare sighting of groveling pundit

Sports pundits are like locusts. They fly long distances in great swarms, descend en masse on an event, gnaw it to the bone and then leave as quickly as they came. F1 seems to get more of them every year.

But a groveling pundit is a rare sight. Behold David Coulthard, who joined the swarm last April, in this week’s column in the Telegraph. Coulthard is eating his words from the beginning of the season, when he predicted that Max’s rule changes would put the audience to sleep while the drivers were desperately trying to stay awake behind the wheel. He couldn’t’ve been more wrong.

Max loves this, of course. Loves groveling too,

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Team orders? Oh please

Talk about wind socks. I can still vividly remember the outrage about team orders when Barrichello had to let Schumacher pass for points, in Austria in 2002. People were baying for blood and the FIA, finding out there was nothing illegal here, slapped a million dollar fine on the lot of them for podium abuse. Those were the days, my friend.

Anyway, thought that was clear. So who can describe my utter astonishment when I see morons like Martin Brundle, who of all people should know better, blathering about how Ferrari should’ve told Massa to let Alonso pass so he could attack Kubica and Button.

Alonso's head on this platter, please

Massa? Letting Alonso pass? Have you taken leave of your senses, Martin? So far things ‘ve been fairly civilised, with Felipe and Fernando being the biggest pals in the world and all that crap, especially when the TV cameras are running and the little red light is on. But we’re all waiting for the explosion. Except Brundle, apparently.

This is what you get when race drivers become bloody journos. Not only do they report, they also have an opinion. And the worst is yet to come. The BBC are now grooming David ‘Pundit’ Coulthard to be their next star. Almost makes me think of retirement.