Tag Archives: Ecclestone

Back in action

I know, my friends, it’s been a while. Busy at work, renegotiating the Shanghai GP, defending The Neck against the bloodthirsty pack of media hounds, and battling it out with New Jersey politicians. These blokes fight without gloves, I can tell you! But they haven’t been up against Bernie yet, so watch this space.

Meanwhile, who can stay indoors when Monaco is about to happen? See you all at the One Race To Rule Them All, as they say in New Zealand.

Birth of my blog

Dear friends, this is an historic day. My lovely assistant Fabiana has achieved wonders. Every thought I sent you over the last few months has been faithfully replicated, complete with the right pictures.

What’s more, from now on I just type the words and insert the pictures and Fabiana’s magic will see to it that everything appears on the internets in the right shape and form.

Ah, the wonders of modern technology. This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, as Humphrey Bogart would say. Fabiana will personally see to that.

My new assistant

So far I have been sending my thoughts out by email to a very select few. Bear in mind that I predate computers and it’s nothing short of a miracle that I can get anything done on these things at all. But the times are changing and my readers require more from me – and Bernie wouldn’t be Bernie if I wouldn’t see to that.

So I can happily announce that I have hired a new assistant, Fabiana, who will sort out these matters for me. I’ve been told it is much easier to posts these little messages of mine in a thing called blog, a place on the internets where everyone and his mate can go read the texts and revel in the pictures to his heart’s desire.

Fabiana comes highly recommended. My friends tell me her knowledge of IT is unsurpassed. I have of course no way to check that but one look at her resume (shown here) was enough to convince me.

Rest assured, dear readers and all other Fake Bernie fans, Fabiana will solve all your technical problems.

Sorting out the Campos and US F1 mess

Sometimes I think I’m just too nice for people. Max goes on his big budget cutting drive and wants new teams in, and I help out with a bit of co-investment and sorting out bits and bobs. So we end up with four new teams, which is good. Apart from a bit of a kerfuffle with Stefan GP who had the nerve to hire the traitor Coughlan and then sue Max for not admitting them (I told Stefan not to, but would he listen? No he wouldn’t), everything went smoothly and we had a perfect grid for 2010.

Except of course for the fact that the idjuts at Campos F1 never got their act together, not to mention the US F1 bunglers who never even had an act. Meanwhile there’s still Stefan, rearing at the leash, buying up everything Toyota left behind, setting up camp in Bahrain, and being a general nuisance to just about everybody in F1, thinking that would bully FIA putting them on the grid.

And where does everybody look for someone to clean up the barney? Continue reading

A tribute to our fans

People sometimes ask me what I love most about F1. There’s only one possible answer to that: fans.

When I go to races I just love the sight of those thousands of enthousiastic paying ticket holders fans who adore their idols (i.e. not me but the idiots behind the wheel of those splendid specimens of automative technology), paint their faces and wear their team colours.

Fans come in all sorts and shapes, as the photo shows. They are the wonderful people who organise pitlane picnics, race each other on slotcar copies of all the circuits and, most of all, switch on their tellies when the race is on. Especially the latter is extremely important because it contributes to viewing rates. And these, my friends, are the lifeblood of my personal finances the entire sports. Continue reading

To Be Or Not To Be (on the grid)

Bahrain is weeks away now, and rumours around the new teams and their chances of making the grid are reaching fever pitch. So let me clarify a couple of things now, before speculations get out of hand.

First of all, no it’s still a question if the whiny Spaniards at Campos are going to make it, although their wooden model looks good, especially with young Senna in it. And no, I haven’t sabotaged their deal with my old friend Gian Paolo Dallara although I must say it was tempting and it certainly wasn’t easy for Goran to keep Stefan’s Vlad the Impaler from going out there on his own. I believe he finally convinced Vlad to just send them a dead fish. These blokes love old mafia movies, for some reason. Boys will be boys, I guess.

As to all the speculations about who’s going to save their thin Spanish skins, Continue reading

Silverstone, Bloody Hill

Well, I saved Silverstone, didn’t I? But if you think they’re grateful, you’re wrong.

Thing is, in order to come up with the necessary 300 million quid for the next 17 years – which I repeat is a VERY reasonable fee if I say so myself – they’ll have to whip the old mud pit into shape. And that means changing the circuit, so that spectators can actually see what’s going on during the race. Sorta makes sense, don’t it?

No it doesn’t. Continue reading