Tag Archives: Felipe Massa

Mark Webber, snookered

Well put, Mark. Couldn’t’ve said it better myself.

Meanwhile, don’t take this too literally please, tomorrow during the start.

“Felipe Massa, your Don needs you”

A little while ago I was worried that Luca de Montezemelemololo started behaving suspiciously like Il Commendatore. I was wrong. He hasn’t become the Commendatore; he’s become the Godfather of the Scuderia.

Poor Felipe found out the hard way. He was picked up immediately after Suzuka by a bloke in a bad suit and brought to Don Luca, who told his second number one driver in no uncertain terms: “I’m sorry Felipe, you were certainly not lucky this weekend: I’m sure that you will be the surprise of the last three races of the season. After this bad day you will be desperately keen to react and we will do everything to give you the possibility to win. Capisce?

I’m certain Felipe understood this message. He will be a strongly motivated number one driver indeed.

Massa has a plan

Starting from the back, on a narrow street circuit, with a car that’s markedly faster than at least half the field before you: what’s a second driver to do?

Domenicali was very clear: Felipe, you have to get to the front as quickly as possible because Alonso needs all the help he can get. So there was only one answer, really. The engineers worked through the night, and here it is.

Brilliant. Also takes care of the Singapore Sling, so kills two birds with one stone. Not sure it’s legal, though.

But hey, it’s Ferrari.

Birthday present

Today is Alonso’s birthday. If you were wondering what Massa gave him, he just told me: it’s one of these fake road workers with a slowdown arm signal. He intends to put it out on the track, just before Alonso goes out in first practice.

Great sense of humour, Felipe has. My guess is Fernando doesn’t completely share it.

Luca di Montezemelemololo called

“Bernie,” he says. “Ferrari is innocent. Can you confirm you understand that message?

Perhaps, I say, but do you understand that there are about 25 others on the World Motor Sport Council?

“Many of them have already been taken care of, Bernie,” he says. “It’s not been cheap, but they understand. Ferrari is acting in a long tradition that started in the old days, with Il Commendatore sending drivers to their deaths from his command post in Maranello. Theirs is not to reason why, theirs is but to do and die. Nowadays we don’t send them to die anymore, but they’re still supposed to do as we say. For sure everybody understands.”

Suddenly things start to fall into place. The sunglasses, the fact that he hardly attends races any more, the oath of undying loyalty he’s had everybody in the scuderia, from the lowliest garage floor sweeper to Stefano Domenicali, swear on an autographed portrait of the old man.

We have a new Enzo in our midst.