Tag Archives: Jenson Button

The Sun kicks Butt

Or is it Butt kicks McLaren? Perhaps The Sun should follow the Guardian’s example and stick to writing about people having lunch.

Morons.

Turns out US F1 wasn’t completely virtual

The only two physical things they owned were a couple of fully equipped eighteen wheelers. Coming to think of it, I should’ve known because I now remember Ross Brawn bragging about getting rid of these things when Mercedes bought his team and typically insisted on using their own equipment.

“At first I thought ‘Bloody Krauts’, this is going to cost me a bundle,” Ross said, “until I ran into Peter Windsor. Silly bugger had just gotten his first investment money and thought boatloads more were on the way. I told him, you’ll have to buy now or else they’ll be gone. As if. These things are harder to get rid of than a wank stain on the wall. ‘Oh right,’ he said, ‘I’ll have ’em then.’ Thought he made the deal of the century. Thank God for newbies!”

So now they’ve ended up on eBay. Sold off by hungry creditors. Apparently poor old Peter never even got around to repainting them. One of them’s got Jenson’s number still on it.

Cruel are the ways of the world. Especially the racing world.

Who would you put your money on?

One team, two drivers. The race is over, two weeks until the next race. They’re both in the running for the Championship, but there’s a lot of work that still needs to be done.

"Jenson, are you still on the simulator?"

One blows off his girlfriend and opts for the simulator instead. (No, you dirty mind, the racing simulator.) He’s headed straight for the Woking HQ.

"Best jet lag medicine ever. Bar none."

The other makes a beeline for his girlfriend, with the unique excuse that she’s the greatest medicine against jet lag. I thought I heard them all until I heard this one.

Now the big question is: which of these two lads is the one that’s not rushing to appoint a manager?

Jenson to F1: you’ve got two races to save the season

F1 to Jenson: you’ve got two races to save your neck.

(Note to readers: no, I don’t read The Sun. Someone sent me this. Also, don’t try this at home.)

Officer of the Bloody Empire

I’m not pissed off.

I mean, why should I? Because these prats over at Brawn are getting honoured by the bloody Queen and I haven’t gotten anything in all those years? Effing outdated idiocy if you ask me. I mean, the silliness of it all. Ross gets an OBE, “Officer of the British Empire”. What empire? And Jenson, who’s done all the actual driving, gets stuck with an MBE, “Member of said Empire”. So now they accept members too? What is this, some stupid club?

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