Tag Archives: Luca de Montezemolo

The Forces of Evil are gathering

I re-watched Lord of the Rings the other day. Why is this relevant? Because it very much resembles what’s happening around F1 right now.

You’ve got this Evil Eye sitting on some bloody mountain. It wants to take over the world and has found a lackey in the person of the evil wizard Rupert Murdoch, seen here staring at his management reporting screen. The Evil Eye in the distance might be John ‘Sauron’ Elkann but I’m not sure yet. I will be if it indeed turns out to be true that his transsexual cocaine laced brother Lapo gets the keys to Ferrari. God help us all when that happens.

Welcome to my world. Really, you don’t make these things up.

Anyway, I had a quick talk with my old friend Luca ‘Da Godfather’ Montezemelemololo, not so long ago. Asked him if it was true. No Bernie, he said, it’s not. ‘Not at all, or not yet?’ I asked. Continue reading

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“Felipe Massa, your Don needs you”

A little while ago I was worried that Luca de Montezemelemololo started behaving suspiciously like Il Commendatore. I was wrong. He hasn’t become the Commendatore; he’s become the Godfather of the Scuderia.

Poor Felipe found out the hard way. He was picked up immediately after Suzuka by a bloke in a bad suit and brought to Don Luca, who told his second number one driver in no uncertain terms: “I’m sorry Felipe, you were certainly not lucky this weekend: I’m sure that you will be the surprise of the last three races of the season. After this bad day you will be desperately keen to react and we will do everything to give you the possibility to win. Capisce?

I’m certain Felipe understood this message. He will be a strongly motivated number one driver indeed.