Tag Archives: Ross Brawn

Just had breakfast with Ross

I said, don’t you need to be in the pit garage right now? He says yes, but we still have that German caterer, you know, the Soup Nazi? Tried to get rid of him for a long time now but the problem is, he’s Mercedes approved. Had to file a request through Norbert, all the way up the line. I believe it’s about to go before the Daimler Board now.

And I tell you, Bernie, it’s not contributing to team morale. Things are so tense, you could cut slices off the atmosphere on days like this. Michael’s seconds off the pace while Nico’s doing stellar laps. Michael blames me for designing a car that’s more suited to Nico than to him and not redesigning it fast enough, and on top of that I have to deal with the car being off the general pace altogether.

Norbert’s under pressure from Zetsche, who wants results or else. And meanwhile Continue reading

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Turns out US F1 wasn’t completely virtual

The only two physical things they owned were a couple of fully equipped eighteen wheelers. Coming to think of it, I should’ve known because I now remember Ross Brawn bragging about getting rid of these things when Mercedes bought his team and typically insisted on using their own equipment.

“At first I thought ‘Bloody Krauts’, this is going to cost me a bundle,” Ross said, “until I ran into Peter Windsor. Silly bugger had just gotten his first investment money and thought boatloads more were on the way. I told him, you’ll have to buy now or else they’ll be gone. As if. These things are harder to get rid of than a wank stain on the wall. ‘Oh right,’ he said, ‘I’ll have ’em then.’ Thought he made the deal of the century. Thank God for newbies!”

So now they’ve ended up on eBay. Sold off by hungry creditors. Apparently poor old Peter never even got around to repainting them. One of them’s got Jenson’s number still on it.

Cruel are the ways of the world. Especially the racing world.

Saw Ross Brawn yesterday over a beer.

He was almost crying in it. I know he’s a bit of a moaner, but to go into a complete funk over Bahrain seems a bit much. Come on Ross, I said, fifth and sixth ain’t that bad. You’ve got a whole season ahead of you, and all the money and might of Mercedes to prove it.

“You’re hitting the nail on the head,” he says. “The full might of Mercedes coming down on me, that’s what.” I say listen, a few Krauts around the paddock, grownup like you should be able to handle that. And they’re good engineers, aren’t they? By nature, I mean. Being German and all that. It’s in the genes.

He says, “it’s not just that. It’s the whole thing. They changed the catering – no more fish ‘n chips with some vinegar from the people we knew and loved. Continue reading

Officer of the Bloody Empire

I’m not pissed off.

I mean, why should I? Because these prats over at Brawn are getting honoured by the bloody Queen and I haven’t gotten anything in all those years? Effing outdated idiocy if you ask me. I mean, the silliness of it all. Ross gets an OBE, “Officer of the British Empire”. What empire? And Jenson, who’s done all the actual driving, gets stuck with an MBE, “Member of said Empire”. So now they accept members too? What is this, some stupid club?

Continue reading