Some lunatic in Buckinghamshire has stuck a dinner table on a Reliant Scimitar chassis with an eye on breaking the world speed record for a piece of furniture. (Yes, there is one.) Somehow the Stig seems to be involved in it.
Apparently the thing can do 130 mph. The dishes are sitting on nifty little elevators. Headlights live under the fruits and the sweets, the driver can stick his head out from the middle of the table, under the roast turkey.
So no, the Stig’s not the one behind the wheel. He’s just having dinner.
I mentioned cucumber time in my previous post. It’s when journos are bored stiff, and desperate because they’ve nothing to report.
This year seems to be particularly bad. Yesterday the poor lads at the Beeb were so bleedin’ bored that they actually made a 1m45s video item (more than the average lap in a Grand Prix) reporting the following:
- The other day there was a stag party where people went naked. (30s)
- Look, here they are. A boat full of naked people. (15s)
- Look, the newspapers have it too. They show the same shot of a boat full of naked people. (15s)
- Radio Bristol had a quick chat with the groom who was on the boat full of naked people. (15s)
- Listen to the groom saying, yes we went on a boat and it was full of naked people. (15s)
- (Morale – it’s the BBC after all) If you go on a stag party, don’t go on a boat full of naked people. (15s)
People keep buggering me about this Korean Grand Prix. Either it’s the threat of war, or delays in construction, or both.
As always it’s the journos that cause it, of course. In my youth we used to call this time of year cucumber time, the season when newspapers got so desperate that even cucumbers would make headlines. Or something to that effect. Nothing to report so let’s make some news ourselves.
Truth is, there’s little to report here. Construction’s on time and Koreans are deadline junkies anyway. Blimey, they even found time to design a new logo with a Croatian flag in it. Don’t tell the Croatians, or we’ll have another war on our hands.
Speaking of which, there’s the other bit that the journos always bring up. Sponsors, fans and the lot would stay away because of the threat of war.
Listen, journos: Continue reading