Just got a call from Zoran Stefanovich. Apparently watching the on-track excitement of late has the same effect on him as it has on Flavio: he’s dying to get his share of the fun. Stefan GP’s botched entry into F1 has been marred by bad luck and mistakes; and to add insult to injury, FIA’ve reopened the selection process to fill the vacancy left by the US F1 morons in 2011, forcing him to start over from zero.
So for Stefan’s benefit, and all those who’ve rediscovered their boyhood ambitions to become part of the pinnacle of propulsion, the apex of automotive entertainment, the ultimate pleasure of racing the world’s most advanced automobiles around the world’s most consummate circuits (we get it, we get it – ed.): here are the five golden rules for aspiring teams to get themselves a slot or two on the grid.
Sometimes I think I’m just too nice for people. Max goes on his big budget cutting drive and wants new teams in, and I help out with a bit of co-investment and sorting out bits and bobs. So we end up with four new teams, which is good. Apart from a bit of a kerfuffle with Stefan GP who had the nerve to hire the traitor Coughlan and then sue Max for not admitting them (I told Stefan not to, but would he listen? No he wouldn’t), everything went smoothly and we had a perfect grid for 2010.
Except of course for the fact that the idjuts at Campos F1 never got their act together, not to mention the US F1 bunglers who never even had an act. Meanwhile there’s still Stefan, rearing at the leash, buying up everything Toyota left behind, setting up camp in Bahrain, and being a general nuisance to just about everybody in F1, thinking that would bully FIA putting them on the grid.
And where does everybody look for someone to clean up the barney? Continue reading
Bahrain is weeks away now, and rumours around the new teams and their chances of making the grid are reaching fever pitch. So let me clarify a couple of things now, before speculations get out of hand.
First of all, no it’s still a question if the whiny Spaniards at Campos are going to make it, although their wooden model looks good, especially with young Senna in it. And no, I haven’t sabotaged their deal with my old friend Gian Paolo Dallara although I must say it was tempting and it certainly wasn’t easy for Goran to keep Stefan’s Vlad the Impaler from going out there on his own. I believe he finally convinced Vlad to just send them a dead fish. These blokes love old mafia movies, for some reason. Boys will be boys, I guess.
As to all the speculations about who’s going to save their thin Spanish skins, Continue reading
Who, by the way, still haven’t paid for the chassis they ordered with Dallara. Goran, my bodyguard, offered to have his pal Vlad the Impaler who does security at Stefan GP pay a little visit to the blokes in Parma with the aid of a drop or two of kerosene, but old Gian Paolo Dallara and I go way back so that was sorta out of the question.
Had a little chat with Gian Paolo instead, it seems he’s getting fed up with them but still wants to give them a last chance. A true gentleman. Not that it’ll come to anything, though. These Campos morons are toast. Not to mention the dead ducks of US F1. At least, that’s what I keep telling Stefan.
Many, many thanks to dear reader David for bringing this little bit of history to my attention.
I’ve been off the air for a while, had to recover from the shock of not only having to let go of Saab, but losing it to those bloody Dutchmen to boot. This kind of thing never used to affect me – I guess I’m getting old.
I got you there, didn’t I? Me, Bernie Ecclestone, the Emperor of F1, affected by a business deal? You must be joking. Business is business, and sports is sports, and always the twain shall meet. I know this bloke Twain or whoever it was never said it exactly that way, but he could’ve.
Case in question, Campos. I’ve had something against these losers from day one. Yes I know they were lured into F1 on Max’s promise that there would be a 30 million quid budget cap. Or 40 million, I keep forgetting. That Spaniard sissy Adrian Campos has been on the horn ever since, reminding me of the cap and that he really, really had no more money to spend than 30 mil because initially he thought it was Euros not Pounds and even that 30 mil as it turned out was a stretch and it was our fault for not sticking with Max’s promises and blah blah whine whine.
I’ll tell you, I have no time for that nonsense. So I got in touch with good old Zoran ‘Stefan’ Stefanovich, an old pal of mine. Continue reading