Tag Archives: US F1

Thought I was in Turkey but everybody kept going on about the US race

I’d really wish there were as much interest in US F1 inside the US as there seems to be outside of it. Everybody and his mate keeps buggering me about Austin, Texas. Why Austin? Why not Monticello or Las Vegas? Is it a done deal? Will they be able to build a circuit? If so, where?

Listen, my friends: the way it works is this. I do the deal, others do the homework. And I only do the deal if I trust the blokes who were supposed to do the homework to’ve done it properly. It’s that simple. Plus, there has to be enough money in it of course, but that’s stating the bleedin’ obvious. We’re talking F1 here, the biggest money machine in sports. So Tavo Hellmund says he’s done the homework, and since I’ve known his father since we were both wearing plus-fours I trust him. End of story. The rest I leave to the experts. Full throttle, my boys!

I’m not one to care much for justification after the fact anyway. Austin in the middle of three big population centres?If you say so. City of 1.3 million people with the right demography? Demography’s fine by me. Republicans would’ve been fine too.

Most important thing is, the money’s on the table and a group of people I trust is busy making it work. That’s why I went into business with Tavo, and in case you were wondering, that’s why Hermann Tilke is the one designing the circuit. Tried and trusted, is my motto.

That’s how you become a supremo, and that’s how you stay one.

Turns out US F1 wasn’t completely virtual

The only two physical things they owned were a couple of fully equipped eighteen wheelers. Coming to think of it, I should’ve known because I now remember Ross Brawn bragging about getting rid of these things when Mercedes bought his team and typically insisted on using their own equipment.

“At first I thought ‘Bloody Krauts’, this is going to cost me a bundle,” Ross said, “until I ran into Peter Windsor. Silly bugger had just gotten his first investment money and thought boatloads more were on the way. I told him, you’ll have to buy now or else they’ll be gone. As if. These things are harder to get rid of than a wank stain on the wall. ‘Oh right,’ he said, ‘I’ll have ’em then.’ Thought he made the deal of the century. Thank God for newbies!”

So now they’ve ended up on eBay. Sold off by hungry creditors. Apparently poor old Peter never even got around to repainting them. One of them’s got Jenson’s number still on it.

Cruel are the ways of the world. Especially the racing world.

Americans: be patient

Talk about boring races. All of a sudden it’s Indianapolis Speculation Time again. It happened in Sakhir. One moment I’m just strolling around minding my own business, and the next thing you know there’s this Reuters journo asking me how about F1 coming back to the US.

What a time to ask. I mean, here we have the US F1 “We are done” fiasco just behind us and the bloke has the nerve to ask when’s the next US race?

Frankly, my dear friends, these are the moments in life I hate most. Let’s face it, I’m not a spur-of-the-moment guy. If you put me on the spot, stuff comes out like it’s all the wrong crowd and the wrong people and the idiots on the internets start analysing and before you know it half America is up in arms.

So let me tell you this, Armed Americans: F1 will be back in the US, if it’s the last thing I’ll ever do. It’ll happen. Just don’t bother me in the meanwhile.

To Be Or Not To Be (on the grid)

Bahrain is weeks away now, and rumours around the new teams and their chances of making the grid are reaching fever pitch. So let me clarify a couple of things now, before speculations get out of hand.

First of all, no it’s still a question if the whiny Spaniards at Campos are going to make it, although their wooden model looks good, especially with young Senna in it. And no, I haven’t sabotaged their deal with my old friend Gian Paolo Dallara although I must say it was tempting and it certainly wasn’t easy for Goran to keep Stefan’s Vlad the Impaler from going out there on his own. I believe he finally convinced Vlad to just send them a dead fish. These blokes love old mafia movies, for some reason. Boys will be boys, I guess.

As to all the speculations about who’s going to save their thin Spanish skins, Continue reading

One down, all the rest to go

Just had a very triumphant Peter Windsor on the phone. “We have a driver!” he belts out. “US F1 has a driver!” I turn down the volume of my phone a bit and say calmly “Oh good Peter. That’s one down, one to go. By the way, do you have a car yet? And engineers? You need a couple dozen of those at least but maybe two or three to start with?”

This does not go down well. “Jose Maria Lopez is the dominant race driver in all of Argentina,” he says. “He’s the new Fangio. So stop jerking me around, will you? The President of Argentina came out especially for the signing ceremony. I sent you the picture, did you get it? That’s her right there, right next to me.”

I decide not to mention Continue reading

The Americans are coming. Are they?

It seems the Americans are all abuzz over their new team. Expanding in Asia may be my favourite hobby horse but it’s true, if we really want to remain a global sports, sooner or later we’ll have to get the yanks back on board.

But it ain’t easy. I thought we were well on our way when we got the US F1 team in, but the only thing I’ve seen so far is a lot of PR and no wheels. Sort of like a mini General Motors if you ask me. Called their boss Peter Windsor today, wishing him Happy New Year and by the way, are you aware that to compete in F1 you need a car and some drivers?

The answer wasn’t promising. Continue reading